


JJ/Reid Fic

by TaraTyler



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Warning for drug use, i dont even know when i wrote this, or why, tw:drug use, tw:withdrawal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 17:34:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6204481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraTyler/pseuds/TaraTyler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i found this, reread it and thought it worth posting<br/>i think that i wrote it in like the seventh grade but it's surprisingly good</p>
            </blockquote>





	JJ/Reid Fic

Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon

“J.J.!” Agent Dr. Spencer Reid shouted as he watched his long-time crush striding confidently out of the bullpen where he and the other members of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit worked. At the sound of his voice she spun immediately on her heel.

“Hold it for me will you?” he asked. As soon as their eyes had met he had forgotten everything he was going to say. Spencer pulled together everything he had been meaning to take home later and unceremoniously dumped into his satchel/ messenger bag that Morgan liked to call his ‘man-purse’. The older agent had just stared at him blankly when Reid had tried to explain to him that attaches were originally intended for men as opposed to women.

“You okay, Spence? You look a little bit off today.” Jennifer Jareau or, J.J. to her friends asked him once they were safely alone in the elevator together. She had been planning to get him alone for a one-on-one discussion ever since that fateful case but, for some reason she hadn’t been able to find the time for the guy she once would’ve called her best friend in the world.  
Instead of responding he just looked down at his shoes. Reid knew that there were two options at the moment. Tell her about the Dilaudid or admit his feelings to her and neither of those seemed to have the outcome that he would have wanted. For the moment he didn’t even know what his desired outcome would be.

“I’ve been meaning to grab you and catch up. It doesn’t seem like we’ve gotten the chance to actually talk in ages does it?” J.J. asked, noticing that her friend didn’t quite seem able to formulate an entire sentence. In her experience with him this was quite the rarity but, she also knew that the two of them had just undergone a very unique experience and she didn’t expect him to completely recover overnight the way some other members of the team had. She was realizing something else too; things just weren’t the same between them anymore. She no longer knew where they stood with one another as partners, as a team within the team, or even as friends and coworkers. Her only certainty was that she needed Dr. Spencer Reid in her life and that she might never be able to watch Benji again.

“Actually catching up seems like a great idea, J.J. How do you want to do this?” he asked, completely comfortable in letting her take the lead in repairing their broken relationship.  
He finally looked up at her; meeting her eyes for the first time in weeks and she returned with her analytical stare. For the first time she saw what the other team members had only mentioned to her in passing. Something was very wrong with her Spence, and she didn’t think it was only experience in the hands of Tobias Hankel causing it. There was a deeper pain there than the others were seeing.

“How about you come over to my place for dinner? I’m about willing to bet that you weigh less than me now. See you in two?” she asked without giving him any chance to object.  
“That sounds great. I’ll see you then.” He answered automatically without actually realizing what it was he had just agreed to. As per usual J.J. had just stunned him speechless.  
Once the elevator dinged and let them out the parted ways to their respective homes to prepare for what they were both sure was going to end up the most awkward dinner of their lives.

“Garcia! What does a man do when a woman invites him over to dinner and he isn’t sure whether or not it’s a date!? Do I need to bring flowers or wine or something? What do I do> I’ve never been in a situation like this before! Help me!” Spencer railed into his cell phone once he was home.

“Does my favorite Junior G-Man have a date? Oh my goodness! Of course I’ll help! Let me pick up some flowers and I’ll be there in a jiffy! It’ll be my honor!” she squealed excitedly into her cell.

“I’ll be there in an hour to dress you and get you ready. Do I know the lucky lady?”

“I can get them myself, Garcia. It’s no big deal. And I don’t think it’s a date. We're just two friends catching The key’s under the doormat if I’m still in the shower when you get here.” Reid gave up when he heard the technical analyst’s car start and hung up.

Spencer pulled a purple button up he rarely wore and a black silk vest out of his closet along with a pair of jeans he couldn’t remember buying and laid them out to put on when he was done in the shower. He spent the entire shower trying to slow his thoughts enough for him to focus his brilliant mind on how to keep Garcia from figuring out that he was going to J.J.’s for dinner and not some friend from college or something. He felt exposed knowing that soon she was going to be the first member of the BAU in his apartment.

“Garcia! I need your help! I’m the worst cook ever and I’ve got Reid coming over for dinner! How do you make a meal that doesn’t come in a box?” J.J. asked in a panic.

“When I’m out of the car I’ll send you some mostly idiot proof recipes. Just give me a minute.” Garcia said, a slow and mischievous smile spreading across her brightly painted lips. She had been awaiting this moment since she had joined the BAU.

“OOOoohhhh you should wear that pretty little blue number we got on that girl’s trip with Elle at Nordstrom. The one with the…” Garcia trailed off as she got out of the car.  
“I know which dress you’re talking about and if you get me those recipes I’ll even wear it. But, seriously, I’m struggling here.” she said as she ran her fingers through her long blonde hair.

She didn’t mention that she was already wearing the blue dress from Nordstrom with the open back. If she did say so herself, she looked pretty good too. She just hoped that this wouldn’t be the one time Spencer decided to dress down. She laughed at the possibility, and she laughed at her situation and she laughed at her stress. She just laughed for the sake of laughing. SHe should have known that she wouldn’t be able to cook. Why had she even suggested it? SHe only knew how to make Kraft’s Macaroni and Cheese.  
Her phone dinged with a rather simple recipe for Chicken Parmesan from Garcia, she wouldn’t even have to leave the house to get ingredients. With a sigh of relief she checked the still not boiling pot of water.

Garcia knocked on Spencer’s door and when he didn’t answer, let herself in. She set the bouquet she now knew to be for JJ on the dining room table and looked around. She had always known where he lived, but she was nearly positive that she was the only person on the team to have ever been allowed within the Reid Cave. The walls were lined with bookshelves, all full to bursting and one hallway was lined with pictures of the team and of Reid and his mom, the only sign that it was Spencer who was living there. 

Penelope wandered into his bedroom, It was obvious how little time he spent in there. The bed was unmade and there were dirty clothes on the the floor with a go-bag set beside the door. He was always ready to leave. A pile of journals were set by the bed, but she didn’t mess with those. She flipped through his closet taking note of the multitudes of slacks, button-ups, and sweater vests. along with the ties hung on a rack on the back of the bedroom door.

“I’m here, Boy Genius!” she called when she heard the water cutoff. 

“Alright, give me a chance to put my clothes on.” he called as he tried to put his pants on and comb his hair simultaneously, nearly falling over in the process.

He stepped out of the bathroom, his hair still wet and disheveled.

“Oh, honey, please it’s a good thing that Mama Penelope is here to help. You desperately need it.” she cooed as she removed his vest and rumpled his wet hair with one hand.

“Take a seat and let me work my magic.” she ordered, leading him into his dining room and pushing him into a chair. From one of her many magical pockets she produced a comb and parted his hair into a style reminiscent of the boybands the older girls in his high-school had listened to. “You didn’t have to do all of this you know, Garcia. All I needed was a little advice and I would have been fine.” he said. 

“Don’t take me the wrong way, I’m grateful but this is all a bit much.”

“Nonsense. I’m enjoying myself and you deserve to get to go out and have a good time after everything you’ve been through these past few months.” Garcia shook it off. 

“Now stand up and tuck your shirt in.” she ordered. 

“How good of a cook are you?” she asked randomly as he jumped up to do as she had asked.

“I’m actually much better than you would think.” he said proudly. “ Cooking is a simple combination of science and math. And I actually quite enjoy it. Most people think that preparing meals is supposed to be the woman’s job but, in…” he trailed off when Garcia gave him one of the Looks the team would give him when he went on a fact ramble.

“It’s a good thing you’re cute.” she reassured him. when his face fell.

“Are magic tricks a plus or a minus in a situation like this?” he asked, seemingly pulling a quarter from his friend’s ear.

“If you want in her pants? No. If you want to make her laugh? Yes.” Garcia said honestly.

“And do your best not to spout random facts.” she added with a giggle. She took a step back and admired her handiwork.

“You look nice but there’s something missing.” she said with a pout.

“I’m never going to look like Morgan or Hotch, Garcia. Maybe you should try more for the Encyclopedia Brown look.” he suggested, looking down at his jeans.

“No. No. I’ve got it.” she skipped into his room and grabbed him a belt and a pair of high-top Converse sneakers.

“You still need to look at least a little bit like your usual nerdy self or your mystery woman won’t recognize you.” she told him as though she didn’t know it was JJ he was going to dinner with.

“When you get there, if she isn’t done cooking, offer to help her. Roll your sleeves up and get down and dirty. Girls secretly love it when guys cook. Ask her about her day and pull her chair out for her. Be your normal gentlemanly self, Reid. She’ll figure it out quick if she already hasn’t that she’s the luckiest girl in the world. Don’t forget to keep me updated.” garcia shoved in some last minute advice, forced the bouquet on him and pushed him out of the door.

“I’ll lock up on my way out. Don’t worry, be happy and good luck.” she shut the door behind him and locked it before calling JJ.

“How goes it, sweetcheeks?” she her friend innocently.

“I’m doomed. I can’t do this. I must be the only single woman in Quantico, Virginia who is still completely incapable of making a single meal. Reid is going to laugh his butt off.” she moaned and Garcia felt like jumping for joy.

“He’d be happy if you were in sweats and eating pizza. This is Spencer we’re talking about here. He adores you.” Garcia reassured her. she couldn’t believe how well it all was going. Then again everyone on the team knew that it was best to leave the cooking to anyone besides JJ. Except of course for Reid who thought that the sun shone out of her every orifice, that she pooped Skittles, and farted fairy dust.

“You’re right. You’re right, I’m overreacting.” JJ said taking deep calming breaths.

“Why do you have Spencer coming over anyway?” she asked, finally getting to the heart of the matter.

“I’m going to get to the bottom of why he’s been acting so weird. I’m worried. He hasn’t seemed like himself in ages.” JJ confessed a part of her reason to her.

“Have you ever been in Reid’s apartment JJ.” Garcia asked.

“Now that I think about it, no, I haven’t. she admitted, all of a sudden confused that she’d never been to Spencer’s house when he’d been over to hers many times before.

“I may or may not have snuck in recently and well, I may or may not be there right now and I’m sort of starting to freak out.” she told JJ.

“The place is a wreck and none of the rooms look lived in. Naturally, the place is covered in books and the only clean things are his bookshelves and those yearly photos we take together at work. He keeps piles and piles of journals too.” Garcia told her.

“He can cook pretty well, but his fridge is empty except for peanut butter and jelly.” Garcia said as she poked around Spencer’s apartment.

“I’m not surprised. I’m not surprised at all. Sounds just like him. He’s really unorganized. that’s common with really intelligent people. I wouldn’t be surprised if all of his bread was moldy too.” JJ said with an exasperated sigh. People always thought that because Reid was a genius he was OCD or something. That was the opposite of true though, his desk always looked like a tornado had hit it. 

“I can see that. My kingdom’s a little messy too but there’s always a method to my madness. I guess that there must be on here too.” Garcia muttered as she picked the locks on Spencer’s study.

“Hey, JJ, I’ve got to go. Text me and keep me updated.” she added as she came in.

As soon as Garcia hung up there was a knock on JJ’s door. Her heart leapt up into her throat and she couldn’t seem to swallow it well enough to find her voice.

“Hey.” said Spencer, when JJ answered the door staring at him in amazement.

“I bought these for you. I thought that you might like them. I’m not all that good at stuff like this you know. You look absolutely radiant.” he said shyly, looking at JJ with those adoring hazel eyes of his and she automatically relaxed.

“They’re gorgeous, Spence. Thanks. I love your outfit by the way. It’s rare for you to dress down. You should do it more often.” she told him, loving how the purple looked on him. Not to mention how perfectly those jeans fit him in a way that slacks never could.

“How’s dinner coming along?” he asked. 

“Ummm… about that, I’m not all that great a cook and I burned the chicken and something happened to the mac n cheese and it was all that chewy and gross when usually I’m at least able to make that.” she said sadly, her face going red.

“Not a problem. You just take a seat and I’ll whip you up something real fast. You can even try that mac n cheese again if you want.” he offered, remembering what Garcia had said. He rolled up his sleeves and pulled out a chair for her. Instead of sitting down she kicked off her heels and automatically dropped two inches.

“Let’s get to it.” she said with a grin.   
In tandem the pair began to get their groove back and soon they were talking and laughing just like they had before. Sometimes though, JJ could still see those shadows in Spencer’s haunted eyes. She also noticed that he hadn’t gone on any fact-filled rants.

He was mixing something, JJ didn’t know what, in a bowl when she asked him to pass her the whisk hung on a rack above the cabinet . He reached over, having to stretch even his long arms to grab it when something fell on the floor and cracked.

“Reid. What is this?” she asked, ice creeping into her voice.

“Um, I can explain. It’s my ,uh….Tobias’. I’m sorry, JJ.” was all he could come up with.

“Spencer, are you using?” she asked, waving the leaking cial around to punctuate her yelling.

“I can’t believe this! You’re a damned DOCTOR, Spence! You know better! You know what addiction is and what it can do to a person. You’re Spencer Reid! The smartest freaking guy in the history of ever! How could you throw all of that away?!” she asked and she was crying now.

“How long is all of that going to last, though> You’ve met my mom. You’ve seen what’s going to happen to me. Eventually, I’m going to crack and end up alone in a sanitarium and all of my brilliance will be spent making clay ashtrays.” he said in a low voice in response, refusing the urge to yell back.

“Eventually the Spencer Reid you know will come cease to exist and be replaced with a mumbling fool who can’t even wipe his own tail.” he said calmly and turned back to the stove and his cooking.

 

“Spencer…” she started, but couldn’t find the words to say that would sum up just how broken she was feeling.

“Why?” JJ asked as she wrapped her arms around him from behind.

“I needed to forget...all I saw, every time I closed my eyes was Tobias Hankel. I can’t bare the effect he had on me. I’d look down at my hands and they’d be covered in blood. Then I’d remember how he’d drugged me and I’d go somewhere else. Somewhere where I didn’t have to feel all of that fear. I missed that feeling. So I started using the Dilaudid at home.” he told her and she felt him tighten as he remembered everything that he had been through.

“We would’ve helped you...PTSD is really common amongst agents in the FBI.” JJ started, because she felt the need to do anything to help him.

 

“This isn’t that.” Spencer said as he peeled her arms from around his waist and turned around for a real hug.

“And I was going to quit anyways. It’s been taking my focus away from the cases and I don’t like the person I am when you look at me like that.” he told her.

“You should have told me that you were struggling, Spence.” she murmured into his shoulder.

“You needed time to work through your own stuff, J.J. And you needed time to figure out that what happened to me wasn’t your fault. I never blamed you..” he told her as he turned out of the hug and took the boiling pot of noodles off of the stove and poured it into the colander waiting in the sink.

“You didn’t?” she asked as she dumped the vial into her trashcan alongside of the burnt chicken.

“Of course not. If anything, I blamed myself for what happened to you. I should never have split off from you and left the both of us exposed.” he said with a shake of his head.

“Let’s just agree that it was a group effort and leave it at that.” JJ offered as she poured the both of them drinks.

“Agreed. We both screwed up.” he said as he poured his sauce over the noodles in the bowl and mixed them before setting it on the table. JJ leaned over and lit the candles and portioned out the food.

“So, are we good?” Spencer asked as he pulled out her chair for her to sit down.

“Nope. I’m still really really angry with you, but I’m willing to overlook it in the hopes of a pleasant dinner. Tomorrow I’ll go back to being royally ticked off.” she promised.

“I can deal with that.” Spencer replied clinking their glasses together.

“Oh my God, Spence! This is amazing! What is it?” she asked as she ate.

“I’m not sure. I just kind of came up with it.” He replied with a shrug.

“I might just have to keep you here forever to cook for me all of the time.” JJ joked.

“Maybe…maybe you could come over to my place tomorrow after work and help me get rid of all of the , uh, stuff. I’m not sure that I can do it on my own.” He nodded in the direction of the garbage can.

“Even though you’ve decided to quit, you’re still going to get cravings and want more. I’ll come over tonight and keep an eye on you. Make sure that you behave and all.” She said, her brows furrowing at the seriousness of her thoughts. She had just kind of spit all of that out without even thinking about it.

“Okay, it’s kind of a mess though. Fair warning.” He told her with a fake grin. He didn’t know why, but the idea of having JJ in his home kind of embarrassed him to no end.

“I’m kind of amazed that I’ve never been there before. I’ve been to everyone else’s place but yours.” JJ questioned as she helped herself to seconds.

“Garcia is the only member of the team to have ever come over actually, and that was just to use me as a dress up doll.” He said with a roll of his eyes.

“That sounds like her.” JJ said with a laugh as Spencer ate. She was surprised at how despite everything, the tears and the yelling, she was still having a great time just hanging out with Spence.  
Spencer himself couldn’t remember the last time that he had smiled and laughed and relaxed like this. He reached across the table, between the flowers and one of the candles and took JJ’s hand.

“Thank you for this. You have no idea of how much it means to me.” He told her.

“It’s my pleasure, Spencer Reid.” She answered, trying hard not to let her heart beat loud enough for him to hear it. Sometimes when he’d pull something like this her face would burn, her heart would speed up past its normal limits and her stomach would flip flop and she had no idea why. He could be making science magic and existentialist jokes one moment and then the next say some deep and meaningful. It was enough to drive her crazy.

“You’re kind of amazing, Jennifer Jareau. You always know just what to say to me and I have no idea how you do it. And it’s not every day that somebody can get me to admit to not knowing something.” Spencer confessed as he stood and gathered up the dirty dishes and put them in the sink without being asked.

“If you’re serious about babysitting me, you might want to change. Though it seems like a waste for you to take off that dress.” He said without looking back at her and seeing how he had made her blush. As she left he turned around and watched, memorizing the sight of her leaving the kitchen barefoot, her blonde hair slightly wild and in that amazing blue dress. Never to be forgotten. He shook his head to clear the cobwebs before going back to the dishes.  
JJ hurriedly pawed through her closet to find jeans and a tshirt, clothes for the next day and some appropriate pajamas before texting Garcia.

JJ: I’m going back to Spence’s house with him. Make sure you’ve cleared out.

PG: Why are you going there? I’m long gone sweetcheeks. Look at the time. It’s midnight.

JJ: Oh. Spence is working through some stuff and I offered to help out.

PG: Tell me deets in the am. I’m going to bed. Much love. Be good to him.

JJ pulled on the tshirt and jeans before shoving the clothes and necessary toiletries in her bag.

“I’m ready to go, do you have the dishes done?” she asked when she saw Spencer sitting on her couch waiting for her.

“Yes, ma’am.” He replied, his heart inexplicably pounding in his chest. He took her hand in his wordlessly before leading her to his car and driving them to his house.

“What was the scariest moment, when you were in the graveyard?” JJ asked all of a sudden on the road.

Spencer took a deep steadying breath before telling her. “I had just woken up and everything that had happened before was still all a blur. All I remembered was that I had left you and then I had heard gunshots. I thought you were dead. At least, I thought you were until he turned those awful computers on and…Before I saw you, I had given up on living. I didn’t want to go back and work when I knew that I had gotten you killed. When I knew that you were dead and it was all on my hands.” He told her, his grip like iron around the steering wheel.

“Oh, Spence.” She murmured, not having expected that kind of answer. JJ could’ve sworn that she saw a tear roll down his cheek in the darkness as he pulled into his lot.

“Home, sweet home.” He told her as he led her into his apartment.

JJ's first surprise was how small it was, but she quickly realized that it only looked that way because of the bookshelves and the piles of books. She smiled, it was just like she had expected it to be. 

"This is exactly how I imagined it."she told him as she immediately began to fill her arms with dirty coffee cups and put them in the sink.

"Grab a bag from that drawer over there. I want this over and done with." He told her with a vague gesture in the direction of the drawer in question. 

"Alright. Where do you want to start?" she asked, realizing that this wasn't a time for small talk.

"The bathroom, then we can work our way back." He said blankly, and JJ could feel him beginning to shut him off from his emotions. She tried to do the same so that he wouldn't be able to see just how much she was hurting for him. She just wished that she had been able to see just how bad the situation had gotten so that she would have been able to help.   
She heaved a sigh before following him through his small and quaint bedroom to a tiny little bathroom that smelled totally and completely of Spencer. She hadn't even realized he had his own scent until she had come inside and nearly been knocked her over. She held open the bag for him as he opened up the mirror cabinet and took out three vials of Dilaudid that he had saved and a needle and he dumped them into the bag.

"Is that it?" JJ asked, her tone giving him no leeway to lie. He felt his eyes fill with tears as he led her back into his bedroom. He shook his head no and pulled another vial and a needle from beneath his pillow and dumped them in the bag too. He reached underneath his bed and grabbed a Steno-pad and a sketchpad and added them to the bag as well. JJ didn’t understand their significance, but decided not to asked since they were obviously important as well.  
“Is that it?” she asked again.

“Yeah, that’s all of it.” he promised.

JJ unceremoniously dumped the bag and it’s contents in the kitchen garbage bag. She caught a glimpse of him flinching at the sound of the glass shattering when it hit the bottom.

“It’s for the best, Spencer.” she told him.

“I know, it’s just, I usually take it now and I really really want it. Badly.” he told her and she could see the pain hinting in his bruised eyes.

“Let’s get you settled in bed and maybe you can sleep some of it off.” JJ suggested.

“Alright.” He responded and turned back to his room. To his surprise JJ followed him in and just turned her back as he changed, though she might have snuck a few peeks over her shoulder…just in case he tried to get up to something of course. She changed as well, pulling a pair of plaid pajama pants on and a baby blue t-shirt.

She turned around to find Reid staring at her mindlessly with absolutely no expression on his face in a t-shirt with Einstein’s face on it that said e=mc^2 on it and a red variation of JJ’s plaid pajama pants.

JJ steered him into the bathroom to get ready and leaned against the doorframe as she watched. Sometimes she was surprised to remember that she was older than him, simply because he knew so much about everything. Other times it was obvious when he’d act like a kid, getting all excited over the small things like holidays or candy or science magic. Now, he was a disconcerting combination of the two as he looked at her with the weight of the world on his shoulders and a helpless look in his eyes. The two sides of Spencer Reid did not reconcile in JJ’s mind.  
“All good?” she asked, reminding him of her presence blocking him from what he wanted.  
He nodded and followed her to his bed where he just sat staring at her until she pushed him in and pulled the covers up onto the bed and over him. She kissed his forehead taking note of how warm it was. She turned out the light and took of her own business in the bathroom before falling into bed beside of him, her own exhaustion catching up with her. She fought sleep, but it caught up to her anyways.

 

Garcia’s curiosity had caught up to her and she had ended up snitching the journals from the study from Spencer’s apartment. Unlike the journals beside of Spencer’s bed in his room, these chronicled the BAU’s cases in his own words, giving equal ink to both victim and killer. Garcia could tell how much he cared about the victims and his feelings about every member of the team. At times she would see smudges that hinted of tears at particularly intense cases. More than that though, she was surprised at his descriptions of his teammates and just how perceptive he was. He told his journals things that he never told the other members of the team. Nothing personal was in the journals in case they were subpoenaed, but Garcia could feel her friend’s emotions in his diction. She even caught herself choking up a couple of times. In the space where the Hankel case would have gone he’d marked out the page with a large black ‘X’ and had continued as normal with the next case.  
She shook her head sadly and set the journal with the others that she had skimmed on her nightstand and turned out her lamp.  
“Spencer, wake up! You’re alright. You’re at your house, see?” JJ asked as Spencer thrashed against his bed.  
“What is it? JJ? Ugh, my head is killing me.” He complained as he kneaded at his eyes with the heels of his hands.  
“You were having a nightmare, Spence. I’ll go get you and Aspirin. Stay there and try to go back to sleep. I’ll be right back.”  
“No. No NSAID’s. Those’ll make the cravings worse. Get an Advil.” He protested.  
“Okay. I’ll be right back.” She promised, not telling him that he had woken her up with his nightmare twenty minutes ago for the sixth or seventh time and had only just woken up. She got the glass of water and the Advil and passed them to him as she sat back down on the bed beside of her. He took them and drained the water and hugged her from the side, leaning his head against her shoulder, taking deep ragged breaths. They sat like that for more than a few minutes before lying down next to each other. She felt his breathing even out as he fell asleep and gently took his hand in hers, unraveling it from its death grip and held it tight until she drifted off and fell asleep as well.

 

When she woke up again Spencer was gone, but she could tell that he had just gotten up and she could smell coffee brewing.  
“Mmmmhh…” she murmured when she came in and saw him spreading cream cheese on bagels and he passed her a cup of coffee just like she liked it.  
“If anyone asks, you gave me your cold, alright?” Spencer told her, his were burning and bright.  
“You’re going through withdrawal, Spence. You’re already sick.” She said putting a hand on his forehead and feeling his temperature.  
“Go chill on the couch. I’m pretty sure I can put cream cheese on a bagel by myself.” She said when she saw his hands shaking and the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead.  
“Put on your Doctor Who or your Star Trek or something. I’m here to take care of you, remember?” she asked with a gesture to the living room.  
“But I can help…” Spencer suggested.  
“I’m talking to Garcia about a viable excuse to get the both of us out of work for the rest of this week and the next. You’re going to stay here the entire time, with me, no exceptions. As crappy as you feel now you are only going to get worse. So I suggest that you suck it up and learn how to be lazy.” JJ told Spencer with a grimace. She had seen someone she had cared about deeply go through withdrawal and knew how ugly it could get and how quickly. She took her bagel and her coffee and sat down beside of Spencer and pulled her legs up onto the couch beside of her.  
“But, I want to…” Spencer protested and made as though to get up.  
“Sit down and relax before you make me sit on you.” JJ threatened.  
“Um…Okay.” He immediately complied and turned an even brighter shade of red, but he most definitely did not relax. He just sat and enjoyed watching JJ go around the house doing her thing. She started to clean immediately after she was dressed in a set of Spencer’s sweats since she wasn’t going anywhere and was ready for the day.  
Spencer sat in his seat on the couch and took a deep swallow of the Vitamin C water JJ had just given him and tried not to choke. He had absolutely no idea as to why her cleaning his apartment in his sweats was so incredibly hot to him but still… it was really hot and her cleaning his house was really hot and now he was having issues.  
“Ugh.” He said loudly.  
“What is it?” JJ asked immediately, running straight to him and kneeling down in front of him.  
“Nothing. It was nothing. It was just a headache.” He said, though her wearing his old college hoodie was making his heart pound in a most inappropriate manner. She knelt down and looked worriedly into his eyes and put a hand to his forehead to check his temperature, simultaneously admiring how his eyes were so many different colors at once. Spencer cocked his head to one side in his normal adorable puppy dog manner and JJ’s heart rate picked up as well. Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed and he was all of a sudden terrified that he had scared her off with his insane issues.  
Spencer cupped a hand around JJ’s cheek and brushed her cheekbone with his thumb gently. “I’m not about to scare you off am I?” he asked gently, his fevered eyes showing his terror.  
“Spencer. I’m a member of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit, I’ve seen the insane, the crazy, and you’re not going to get rid of me that easily.” She promised him.  
“You know that I’m going to lose it one day and end up a drooling crazy person in a diaper and you’re staying?” he asked and JJ immediately knew that it was the anxiety that came with withdrawal talking, but she also knew that this was something that came along with being Spencer Reid, so she sat down next to him and held him for a while, while he cried and oddly enough she enjoyed the feeling.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer said, once his chest had stopped heaving and his eyes were crusted over.  
“There’s absolutely nothing to be sorry about, Spence. You’re one of my favorite people in the world.” She told him as they parted and JJ realized just how close they were to one another. Not like emotionally or spiritually or mentally, but physically really, really close to one another. Like she could feel his breath on her neck and his body heat was starting to make her try and sweat as well.  
“Spencer, I’m…going to go get you some tissue. You’ve hit the runny nose stage.” She told him.  
“Right. The runny nose stage. I had forgotten.” Spencer said, lifting his head up off of JJ’s shoulder and sniffing and wiping at his nose.  
“I’ll be back with some tissue in a second. Don’t do anything you’ll regret.” She warned him as she went into the bathroom and shut the door behind herself. As she walked away, Spencer clenched his fists and punched the pillow in front of him where JJ had just sat.  
“Oh, my gosh. Oh God.” She said as she took hurried deep breaths before taking a seat on the closed toilet lid. She did everything short of having a panic attack before pulling herself together.  
“Garcia. I’m not okay. I’m not okay at all and I’m freaking out. Help me.” JJ said seriously.  
“What’s wrong my pretty little liaison?” Garcia asked her voice betraying her intense concern.  
“I’m a little bit in love with Dr. Spencer Reid.” She murmured to the point that Garcia only barely heard it.  
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Garcia asked, while she did a happy dance in her office, with Morgan and Emily watching in a combination of horror and amusement.  
“It’s sort of both actually.” JJ murmured again as Morgan and Emily crept up closer to listen in.  
“I have no idea what to do about it. I’m hiding in the bathroom scared to go out because I’m terrified that I might start screaming at him about how I’m in love with him and he’s in love with me and we should have Junior G-man genius babies. Ohmigod, Spence’s babies would be adorable.” JJ ranted and Garcia had to shout “Jennifer Jareau!” at the top of her lungs to make her stop.  
“What you’re going to do is go in there where that boy who everyone in the FBI knows is head over heels in love with you is waiting and you’re going to wait for that perfect moment where you’re going to tell him that you know that he likes you and that you like him too and you’re going to be happy, Jennifer Jareau. You’re going to go in there and you’re going to be happy. Be happy Jennifer Jareau.” Garcia said fervently. She had only had this exact speech prepared for months and stuck on a post-it note to the side of her computer console.  
“Alright, I can do that, but we’ve got a lot more to…handle, before it’ll be the perfect time.” She thought vaguely.  
“What are you two doing, anyways? I’m almost positive that neither of you are actually sick, nor I do I understand why Reid wouldn’t be here except for if he were sick. He never misses work. Then again neither do you.  
“Sorry, Garcia, but that’s Reid’s story to tell if he so chooses. Look I’ve got to go check on him. Bye.” She ended the call abruptly, leaving Garcia under the piercing stares of Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss.  
“Baby girl, what aren’t you telling us?” Morgan asked, crossing muscular tattoed arms over his chest.  
“JJ and Reid went on a non-date before they got ‘sick’. I went to the Reid-cave to bring him flowers for her and dress him up. He left for the non-date before I left his apartment so I snooped. I know. I was bad. I may have also read a bunch of his journals.” Garcia confessed.  
“Hold up. What’s a non-date?” Emily asked, holding up a hand to stop the rambling woman.  
“It’s when two people are on a date, but they’re both in complete denial over the fact that it’s totally a date. So, Reid went o JJ’s house for dinner.” She paused for Morgan and Prentiss to stop laughing.  
“So when he got there they dumped the burnt chicken in the garbage and Reid made an actually edible meal and at some point they decided to go to Reid’s house for an unknown reason and JJ spent the night, but they didn’t do it and that was my girl calling to tell me that she’s flipping out because she’s figured out that she has feelings for him. She’s terrified and you can’t tell anybody.” Garcia threatened.  
“Scout’s honor.” Morgan promised.  
“What he said.” Emily promised as well, with a merry grin.  
“And I never thought we’d have a scandal around here.” She giggled.  
“We’re not going to because this isn’t ever going to leave this room.” Garcia proclaimed adamantly in the defense of her only real life ship.  
“Yes, ma’am.” Emily said a bit more seriously.  
“Yes, ma’am.” Derek repeated as well.  
“Why do I feel like you’ve got something to do with all of this, Hot Mama?” he questioned.  
“Me? Never.” She said with a grin as she turned back to her computers.  
JJ struck with false confidence back into the living room where Spencer sat on the couch, finally looking relaxed and comfortable, watching Back to the Future and quietly mouthing the words along with the movie. She smiled at the sight and remembered that before all of this, she and Spencer had been movie watching buddies and best friends and she had been totally and completely at ease with him. She set the box of tissues on the coffee table and settled in next to him.  
“Garcia called. They’ve got a case and they miss us. I knew they wouldn’t be able to get along without us. I’m going to take the opportunity to bum as hard as I can for as long as I can.” She announced.  
“You’re allowed a break, JJ. I told them that you were sick and that should be enough to get them to leave you alone. You’ve got no reason to feel guilty about not being able to work. I’m banning you from work until I’m better.” He proclaimed pointing his finger in the air in a very official manner. All of a sudden at the silly moment JJ felt the very intense urge to kiss him silly, but she could tell that it wasn’t that perfect moment that Garcia had mentioned, so she had settled down and used the blanket as an excuse to get closer and cuddle up to him.  
“You okay, now?” JJ asked him after a rant about the Delorean.  
“Perfect.” He told her with a wide grin as he looked at her.  
“Agreed.” She responded with a grin to match his and again her heart started doing crazy things inside of her chest. Spencer couldn’t help but admire how her blue eyes sparkled at him. He couldn’t remember the last time that she looked genuinely happy like this.  
“I love you.” She whispered.  
Spencer felt his mouth open a little and his eyes grow as wide as saucers at her words that he’d nearly missed.  
“You…love me?” he asked in astonishment and fought to keep back tears.  
“You love me.” He repeated.  
“A lot actually and for a while now. I wasn’t planning on telling you. I wanted to wait for the perfect moment, but then you went and used the word ‘perfect’ and I had word vomit and told you. So, yeah, that happened and I’m in love with you.” She was getting really tired of her word vomit.  
“You can’t just do that, JJ! Up and tell a guy you love him like that! I’ve been planning the perfect moment for ages. It involved candles, dinner, science magic, and the beach. The freaking beach, JJ! You just ruined it! Not that I don’t appreciate the reciprocating of my feelings, but JJ! The beach! Science magic…” he yelled, though he was smiling. He was smiling the best smile JJ had ever seen him smile. He had jumped off the couch and wandered the living room and dining room simply grinning. He crossed the room back to where she sat on the couch and pulled her up and into the kitchen. She followed him willingly, torn between laughter and tears, and smirked at him.  
“Sorry.” She apologized with a shrug, a smirk playing across her pink lips.  
Spencer responded by grabbing her around the waist with one arm and cupping her cheek in his other hand their bodies flush against each other. JJ lightly rested her hands on his shoulders and smiled into the kiss, fitting her head to deepen the kiss.  
“Having you rehab me is going to be easier than I thought.” He commented before JJ pulled him back in for more kissing.  
“What changed?” he asked, always needing to know the ‘how’s’ and the ‘why’s’.  
“I decided to be happy.”


End file.
